Polarities - The Heart of Conflict

One of my favorite HBR articles comes from the October 2006 issue. The article is entitled The Tools of Cooperation and Change by Christensen, Marx, and Stevenson, and at its crux is this: “The primary task of management is to get people to work together in a systematic way.” The authors discuss the importance of collaboration in minimizing conflict. For me, in the leadership game of rock-paper-scissors, collaboration is rock while conflict is scissors!

No matter how effective you are as a leader, or how good you are as a coach, conflict will occur because you cannot control the behavior of others. Great leaders and coaches know how to manage conflict, and they do so through a collaborative style.

A key to managing conflict is understanding the behaviors which contribute to conflict. Researchers Blake and Mouton identified five distinct types of conflict behaviors. Their classification is based on two independent components of conflict behavior: (1) assertiveness, defined as behaviors intended to satisfy one’s own concerns; and (2) cooperativeness, defined as behaviors intended to satisfy the other individual’s concerns. These components combine to specify five styles. My focus is on the collaborating style. This style is high in both assertiveness and cooperation: the person works to attain a solution that will meet the needs of both people. This orientation seeks full satisfaction for all and has also been called problem-solving and integrative style.

In managing conflict, the ultimate goal is to find a win-win solution. The collaborating style is the only one which provides a win-win solution. Compromising, which we are generally encouraged to do, is actually a lose-lose solution.

Breaking down the barriers to collaboration is an important factor of conflict management. Creating a supportive climate helps to encourage accurate communication and supportive behaviors. Defensive climates, on the other hand, are perceived as threatening or ominous. Assertive communication, use of “I” statements, and descriptive language foster a supportive climate. Statements that evaluate or place blame on the other party are viewed as defensive.

Conflicts can easily spiral out of control when emotions and defensive climates exist. If you feel a conflict is spiraling, it is best to bring in a neutral third party. Human Resources can serve as the neutral third party or mediator. Human Resources also serves as a resource and sounding board for both supervisors and employees. Conflict will not just go away -- do not avoid it. Get help if you need it. Get COLLABORATION and remember collaboration beats conflict!